Thursday, November 18, 2004

I Am NOT Queen of the Internet

Today seems like a great day to start the blog. An acquaintance on the other side of the world wrote yesterday to tell me that my server was down and that her emails to me were bouncing back to her. (Funny thing is my family and I have been easily sharing emails all the time this acquaintance says my server was down….and they live half a world away in the other direction.) When she told me she wanted to know what I was going to about this, the whole matter started to get on my nerves. A few months earlier, another Internet acquaintance wrote wanting to know how I was going to fix a Yahoo! Group in which he was having trouble posting because he had had the same problem at another Yahoo! Group. That discussion has become rather ugly. So, here and now, in my first blog post, I want to announce that I cannot fix the Internet, because...I AM NOT QUEEN OF THE INTERNET.

Of course, that begs the question, “Who IS Queen of the internet?” Not knowing that answer, I did a web search. As it turns out that title belongs to a few different folks depending on which search engine one uses. The hands-down, number one, title of “Queen of the Internet” on most search engines, though, is: Britney Spears. Check out the December 28, 2001 story at The Hollywood Reporter by going to http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/thr/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1229464 .

Ok, so I would like to tell these Internet acquaintances of mine who want Internet answers immediately to go ask Britney if they have questions. Unfortunately, Brit is on her honeymoon and might be a little hard to get hold of for a while. So, I found the other folks who hold the title “Queen of the Internet.” Maybe those two acquaintances could ask the following women if they have Internet questions:

1) Hatshepsut - The Queen of the Internet at
http://www.geocities.com/hatshepsut_tut
2) RAVEN MADD --Rainbow-Akron.com's Queen of the Internet at
http://www.rainbow-akron.com/rba-07.htm

Of course they might not reply. (I had no luck with that. Maybe their servers are down, too.) So, as a last resort, I think I found the ideal “Queen of the Internet” to whom these acquaintances of mine could pose their questions. Elizabeth Regina II! Of course!! She’s powerful and has her own website (http://www.royal.gov.uk/output/Page1.asp). Yeah, that’s it. Next time these two demand that I spend time fixing their Internet problems, I will just tell them to go write the Queen of England. It works for me.

Talk to ya'all next time.